Shocking Chillers

Earlier this year I contributed a text story to the smashing small press horror comic Hallowscream. Myself and Andy Lee have a strip in the Scary Christmas Special as well. The first two pages are below, you can read the rest this December via The Theatre of Terror.

It's based on a story I recorded a few Christmases ago. The strip will also appear in a slightly different format in next year's Tales of the Oak comic...

Here is Bjork's version of a traditional winter song about the Jolasveinar...




And quite frankly any excuse for my family tale of terrifying winter fun from last year...Santa's Little Werewolves....





I've been sharing festive and winter stories all month here and on the Tales of the Oak blog. It's my favourite time of year for writing and telling stories. But I'm actually supposed to be maybe possibly moving house this week, just in time for Christmas, and I've honestly run out of steam. Here's a well intentioned selection of links in place of anything else new this year, just in case yer still in the mood, and feel like gorging on wintery folktales, fables and festive fear.

Alice's Winter Wonderland Christmas

A tale of unease featuring Master Mariner Para Handy

A Christmas message from Councillor Harry Macarthur

Another comic strip of festive terror The Green Oak Trees

A lost chapter from Wind in the Willows in which badger and mole talk Mithraic worship.

Midwinter fables featuring robber wives, christmas present quests and scary rabbits.

My thoughts on the ancient practice of trying to ruin Christmas for everyone in Midwinterfestivusmas

Or if you'd rather not be bothered with all that sort of nonsense, here instead is a specially selected wee Christmas playlist of alternative classics. I picked them just for you.

Feliz navidad.
xx

Roald Dahl Day - My Best Zombie

My gran bought me a book when I was 9, it was a book about Roald Dahl, about how and why he wrote books. I still have it. It totally made my mind up about what I wanted to do, but then I accidently became a community project manager instead. (Actually there was also a period in 1985 where I also wanted to program ZX Spectrum games...another dream shattered)

In celebration of Roald Dahl Day, a couple of poems written for my kids, totally inspired by his anarchic nonsense...

My Best Zombie

I met a zombie boy one day.

At first I tried to run away,

I tripped and fell, he grabbed my boot

And started trying to chew my foot.

To try and stop him eating me,

I asked him to come round for tea.

He grinned and gave a friendly groan,

Put down his half chewed bit of bone,

Then limped behind me up the street.

He actually was rather sweet.

"Hey mum!" I said, "I've brought a guest."

Mum did not look at all impressed,

But always is a perfect host,

So said she'd do him beans on toast.

But while we stood and had a chat,

The zombie started on the cat,

Then ate my little sisters dolls

And chased the budgie up the walls,

He attacked my mum's home baking,

Ate the buns that she was making….

"Enough!" I shouted, "That's enough!

Please just stop munching all our stuff!

I asked you round my house for food,

But eating pets and toys is rude.

Go on, beat it! Clear off! Scram!

I'm cross with you, I really am."

He dropped the home made lemon flan,

And made a beeline for my gran.

I couldn't take it anymore,

I pushed the zombie out the door.

He shuffled off, he looked quite sad.

I had not meant to get so mad.

I followed him back up the road,

He reached the graveyard and he slowed,

Not wanting to go back inside,

He stood there for awhile and cried.

I didn't want him feeling glum,

My poor wee hungry zombie chum.

I went and gave him some advice.

"No biting is considered nice.

No eating people that's the rule.

(Except the bullies from my school)

And if gran or mum get out of line,

A nibble on their toes is fine."

So now he knows how to behave.

Good manners from beyond the grave.

My happy zombie new best friend.

Undead funtime never ends.

This one was written for Christmas last year...

Santa's Little Werewolves

Wee bit of festive fun. Just finished it this week.
A Christmas card from me and my wee family.

Merry Christmas!