Alice's Wonderland Wedding

This is a wee teeny tiny bit of a Wonderland Wedding story I wrote for Sharon this year (the handmade for realsies one has some specially produced illustrations by Mhairi Robertson Armstrong - they are awesome)

‘Flower girl! Flower girl!’ exclaimed a very agitated Dowager striding towards Alice, ‘Has that cat been peppered?’

‘I beg your pardon?’ said Alice, adding a little curtsey to help things along.

‘Has your cat been peppered this morning? We need all the cats sneezing for the Queen.’

‘Why should the cats be sneezing?’

‘Good luck of course! The bride should always hope to see sneezing cats on the way to her wedding.’

‘Oh I see,’ said Alice, which was only partly true, ‘Is the Queen getting married?’

‘Indeed she is. Have you got all the things you were sent for?’

Alice knew she didn’t always pay quite enough attention to her elders and betters, but she felt sure that on this occasion she had not been sent anywhere for anything by anyone.

‘Excuse me please, what things do you mean?’ asked Alice.

‘What a stupid Flower Girl you are. The queen can’t get married without something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue. It’s bad luck!’

‘Won’t she perhaps have enough good luck with all the sneezing cats?’ enquired Alice.

‘One can never have too much good luck where weddings are concerned,’ suggested the Dowager darkly.

Alice knew very little about weddings, except the bits with cakes, but she did know something about good luck.

‘Horseshoes!’

‘Bless you’ said the Dowager, ‘But it’s your cat that needs peppering, not you.’

‘Horsehoes are good luck,’ explained Alice, ‘we could give the Queen one of those!’

‘She already has a horseshoe.’

‘Perhaps we could give her some more?’

‘Don’t be ridiculous, the horses can’t spare that many shoes, we don’t have enough slippers.’

Alice wasn’t sure this conversation was getting her anywhere, though she was starting to feel there was somewhere she ought to be.

‘Well?’ said the Dowager.

‘Well.’ Smiled Alice, assuming this was a polite pause.

‘Run along and get everything this instant! Right foot first! It’s half past eleven now and the Queen is to be married at quarter to three. Hurry along!’

Alice was so startled, that without really knowing where she was going, she hurried off to look for everything.

The story has Alice meeting new and old characters from Wonderland while exploring all sorts of strange wedding folklore. Since writing it, we've had a wee thought about maybe making special bespoke versions for people to give as gifts on Wedding Days. Dunno. If you think that's a good idea, drop me a line. Regardless, if yer after a particularly special gift for any occasion, I would recommend a wee piece of specially commissioned artwork from Mhairi.

You can read more of my literary fanfic, or skip straight to more Wonderland Wedding or Alice's Winter Wonderland....