Vogon Poetry

Earlier this year the Hitch Hikers Guide To The Galaxy live show ran a Vogon Poetry competition, and I was one of the three lucky winners...so this poem has more of an excuse to be awful than the other ones I post.

Unblurst Flatula

Vast orbled sprattlefurk,
Wheezes blungest, horfing in wurmstudge;
Peuce rot warples dewily
Down glorgly primpled tunk
Blarpflanging in wretched ufflescag.
Let's split the bill.

Tragically, before I could bask in the brief glory of the poem actually being read out at the show tonight and meeting the fantastic cast with my children...the tour was unexpectedly cancelled to make way for...no tour. A real nightmare for the hard working cast and crew.

Like every right minded carbon based lifeform, I love the work of Douglas Adams, if you do too, you won't be disappointed by this excellent vid...

Vogon Poetry

I'm off to see The Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy Live! tomorrow. Very excited.

Vogon Poetry is of course the third worst in the universe, so I really had to up my game to compose this piece, actually just a 'highlight' from a much larger epic, concerning a doomed love affair between a Vogon commander and a planet devouring jellyfish with self esteem issues.

from ‘The Mhighoblyghan’

Oh! How vile you float,
Unrinsed as frungweed,
Glabbish and slaverly
Farped in unkish swillfeed.

Bound in swarfen marshropes
You glosp and reek in the twosh.
Fusked as a querping hagglepin,
I brump the wimpled vash.

That warten hide
Slurfs wantonly.
My prongk denied,
Blurps emptily.

In a slightly different vein, I was really fortunate this week to get the opportunity to write a story tweet for the 3hundredand65 project...which is creating a graphic novel via twitter in aid of the Teenage Cancer Trust. It's a wonderful exercise in creativity and collaboration with tweets from regular folk alongside contributions from Stephen Fry, Bill Bailey, Neil Gaiman and many more. It's a great project with a really orginal vision...and the story needs you. Catch up on the story so far and find out how you can help.