Monday, 21 October 2013

Liff's Like That

A while back, I contributed to a selection of new "liffs" - originated by Douglas Adams and John Lloyd, liffs use placenames to create words for "things there should be words for".

One of my liffs has been published in the new collection; this is a very firm, if slender claim to fame, but in order not to spoil the fun of it, I have no intention of telling you which one is mine. If you buy the book, please feel free to imagine that the funniest one you read is mine. Meantime, another new selection...

To plunge a hand into a binbag to try and create more room

The gunk on your hand after performing a bindal

A feeling of easy confidence about achieving a deadline despite all previous evidence to the contrary

To be the best looking one in an amateur dramatic society

To give up on sexual intercourse after the third interruption by a small child

The polite ignorance of a major problem that allows everyone to get on with their life

The point of no return after a disley can no longer be ignored

To no longer notice the smell of cat litter in your own home

To despise all public art on principle

Now...have some fun making up yer own...